Saturday, May 10, 2008

Just A Little Vent

Why? Why? Why? OH WHY??? Every time there is a windfall to I end up with nothing? Our stimulus check came yesterday. Rob has been out of work for two weeks, so there is no income. We still have the same old bills to pay, so thank goodness for the stimulus check. It came at the perfect time.

Here's the problem. I spent the majority of it just playing catch up with the bills. So why is Rob out spending it like a fiend on JUNK??? My only request is a haircut. I even have a coupon that will make it less than $5.00 and I can't bring myself to go do it because I just know if I spend that it's going to cut into one of his projects.

You would think after 10 years together that this issue would have finally resolved itself. Nope. I'm still the grown up in the relationship, stressing out about paying important things like the mortgage and the electric bill. He wants to drive to KY to bring his junk Fire bird sitting in his grandfather's barn down here to fix. We don't even need the second car. He just WANTS it, despite the fact it's going to probably put us even farther into debt. I just want to run away.

Now I get the job of making sure everything gets paid, corners get cut even further than they are now, and do without my measly $5.00 haircut. I know life is too short to argue over money, especially now with his health in question.

I know all of this comes down to ME. It's MY problem that I don't have the guts to go spend money to get my hair cut. I guess being the oldest of 6, I learned to do without and I feel guilty for taking for me. I wish the conflict inside me would go away! Either I suck it up and quit crying about it, or I suck it up and do something about it. Neither way is appealing. I hate feeling like this!

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Diagram of Tommy's Heart Defects

Diagram of Tommy's Heart Defects
Double Inlet Left Ventricle with Transpostion of the Great Arteries