Today was Easter. A time of new beginnings. Springtime, and of course, rain. It always rains on Easter. All of my childhood memories have rain on Easter.
The rain reminds me of Tommy. After he died, it rained for days. As if the Earth were crying tears with us. All I could remember was the day Tommy looked out the front door at the rain and got this look of "I get it!" and began to sign the motions from "Itsy Bitsy Spider". What a tremendous moment to see him realize that he knew it was rain and he knew how to tell me.
Not a rainy day will go by without that memory playing in my heart.
Tommy has been heavily on my mind for other reasons today. My sister is having a baby. I'm trying to decide how I feel about passing down some of Tommy's things. I don't know how she would feel either. When I have a free day this week, I plan to go out to the shed and open the boxes of his things and see if anything speaks to me. I will know what to do when it feels right.
I know this is short and sweet. My life is growing in new directions and I don't know how to include them on the blog just yet. I don't want to shift gears from posting about grief and memories to day to day life without some sort of segue. I'm working on it.