Saturday, August 30, 2008

Laid to Rest

Tommy is now resting in peace. His service was simple and beautiful. I spoke, but I cannot remember what I said. Since my dad was ill, he couldn't be there so we made a video. I plan to watch it eventually to remember what I said. The minister spoke about how Jesus wept when Lazerus' family wept over his death. That He felt their pain and sorrow. It was comforting.

We had an open casket service with Nemo balloons nearby for him. He looked so big! It was so strange because he looked like an oversized 6 month old. We realized he was still a baby in so many ways, not a toddler, which he should have been. I touched him several times during the visitation, rubbed his soft hair and kissed his forehead and cheek. God gave me a small miracle at the funeral...they had everyone leave so Rob and I could say goodbye privately. I stroked his cheek to find it was soft! I was able to kiss his soft baby cheek one last time! I'm so thankful and grateful for that moment.

At the cemetary, we had just a few simple words and a prayer. Then we ALL blew bubbles for my sweet baby Tommy. We had a bubble machine going and everyone had a small bottle of bubbles. We had regular helium filled balloons besides the Nemo ones. There were 11, so Rob, our families, friends and I all stood in a circle and let them go at the same time. We watched until they were in Heaven with my baby.

After we had finished picking up everything at the funeral home, our families and friends went to the park for a picnic. I was really in no mood for a stuffy restaurant or being cooped up at someone's house. Plus, the boys needed to run and forget for a while. Then we drove the boys down to my hometown about 30 minutes away and found out that there was a festival going on, so we took them. It was a great diversion and helped us move on as a family of 4 instead of 5.

I'm sure when I get back to South Carolina, that the day to day tasks will bring on the tears. I'm kind of in that numb, denial phase right now. I know I've had closure but I still feel something deep down inside that's stuck and won't come out.

A few pictures of his flowers and balloons.


Nancy said...

Rene, my heart is breaking for you. You are such a strong, sweet, loving person. You are a shining example of what a mother should be.

I'm so glad that you and your family were able to go to the carnival and have some fun. Don't forget to try to have fun and enjoy the time you have with your other family members.

I appreciate the pictures of Tommy and everything that you have shared here. He was, and is, a special child of God. And now he is out of pain and in God's arms. I know you miss him terribly. Some day you will all be reunited and I hope that brings at least some comfort. There will be trying times ahead and I hope I can be here for you.

(((hugs))) and prayers,

Kelgreen said...

Tommy had a very special family! I'm sure he cherished everything you did for him. And would be smiling from heaven during his funeral w/the bubbles and balloons.
You will be in my prayers.

Diagram of Tommy's Heart Defects

Diagram of Tommy's Heart Defects
Double Inlet Left Ventricle with Transpostion of the Great Arteries