Last night, I had the most realistic dream about Tommy ever. It was also the longest! I dreamed that life had gone on for Tommy and he had aged to what he should be now, which is almost 3. I dreamed he still had the trach, but was otherwise developing normally, including taking his first steps and talking! It was amazing. We laughed, played, went to events together and even snuggled up in bed for a nap together. I loved holding him in my arms again. I loved chasing after him as he ran from me, laughing, even if I was lugging a suction machine! I loved catching him and then rocking him in my arms as he looked up at me with those beautiful eyes.
Life with Tommy when he was alive was a joy every single day. No matter the hard work to keep him alive or the hassles to get the care he deserved, every moment was filled with happiness. He was a happy baby. I wish so bad that the world could have met him individually to know what a happy child he was. He never knew a moment of despair, just love.
To hold him in my dreams is such a blessing and a wonderful gift from God. To see my little boy walking is a miracle. I love you Tommy. Forever and ever.