Does Not Play Well With Others

I need to vent. Really Vent. There are people in my life that don't have any business there. I've tried to like these people, but I can't. Maybe I can smell the B.S. on them. Whatever the reason, I've decided I don't have to like anyone. It seems to me that every time I've had a real-life, honest to goodness, living, breathing friend, they've taken advantage of me, annoyed me, lied to me or flat out hurt me. I don't have any more of those living, breathing friends, and honestly, I'm sick and tired of trying to make them.

The ones that I can count on live all over the country and I've never met any of them face to face. We email, text, Facebook and so on, but I've never met anyone. Truth be told, it scares me. I'm fairly certain that we would get along wonderfully if we were ever to have the opportunity. But after what's happened to me lately by someone that was supposed to be on my side, I'm a little gun shy in the friend department. Sure, my online friends keep my deep dark secrets for me and I'm there for them if they ever need a virtual shoulder to cry on. Why can't I meet these people for real instead of online?

Instead, the people that cross my path pretend to be a friend to my face while twisting the truth about what they think are facts, then can't understand why I'm upset. I'm so done with the whole friend thing. Seems like I can't trust anyone I meet in person these days. I seem to draw losers like flies to honey. I hate that. I long for just a couple true friends. Someone I can call up and go to the grocery with or take the kids to the park together. Someone I can share secrets with and know they will stay a secret. Someone that won't spread rumors about me or try to break up my marriage.

The virtual world has been good to me. I've met MANY wonderful people and have few I consider to be close friends. But they're so far away. I guess I'm the type that doesn't play well with others. I'm not sure if I ever will be the type that will.